There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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