do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
