so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
