hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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