My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
