a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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