rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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