I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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