She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
