I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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