Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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