two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
