I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
