I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
