i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
