You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
