I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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