This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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