just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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