yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
