Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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