If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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