he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
