I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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