Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
