She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
