Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
