omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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