bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
