He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
