I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
