12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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