is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
