The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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