my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The best revenge is premature balding
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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