All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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