i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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