I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
