I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
