she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
