She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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