He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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