sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
