You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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