Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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