she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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