So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
it glows. i had to have it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
