Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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