you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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