I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
